This is a personal reflection I wrote to explore how becoming a father shifted my perspective on ambition, leadership, and product design. I believe great leadership is grounded in life experience, and this is one of the experiences that shaped mine.
Becoming a parent was one of the most transformative experiences of my life, right up there with going to college and living in the USA. But unlike those milestones, I never really sat down to reflect on what parenthood has done to me. Especially professionally.
We all understand in theory that becoming a parent is a deep identity-shifting event. And yet, in our professional circles, especially in the high-achievement culture of LinkedIn and startup life, we rarely talk about how it actually changes us. It doesn’t quite fit the usual “hustle harder” narrative.
I didn’t speak about it either. Partly because I thought my experience was just… normal. But looking back, I see how profoundly I’ve changed. I’ve walked many emotional miles as a parent, and I want to share what I’ve learned. Especially for others walking a similar path!
Redefining Ambition
Before becoming a parent, my sense of self-worth was deeply tied to professional recognition. I lived for the next title, the next promotion, the next proof that I was moving up.
That changed.
There’s a new space in your heart that opens when you meet your child for the first time. I remember the moment my son opened his eyes. Something inside me grew. A part of my heart I didn’t even know existed began to expand, day by day.
And with that expansion came a new kind of ambition.
A good friend and former colleague recently said to me, “I’ve always known you as an ambitious guy, but now I see there’s more to you. You have more layers.” He was right. Parenthood didn’t dim my ambition, it gave it context.
Now, I ask myself a different question: What kind of father do I want my son to remember me as?
It’s not that I care less about being a great designer. It’s that I care more about being a whole human.
The Paradox of Letting Go
Here’s something no one tells you: the more you build your confidence in different areas of your life, the stronger you become at work.
- You take feedback more constructively.
- You don’t get defensive as easily.
- You can choose your battles with more clarity.
Life has a quiet paradox: the harder you try to get something, the harder it is to achieve. Tension clouds judgment. When your sense of success isn’t only rooted in your career, you’re actually more likely to thrive in it.
That’s been my experience. I’ve grown into a more grounded, resilient leader. I no longer panic over critical feedback or let setbacks shake my identity. Instead, I focus on what truly matters.
Clarity Over Status
I used to be obsessed with job titles and career milestones. But those highs are fleeting. What sticks is the work, the people, the craft, the process.
Now, when I think about the future, I ask myself a different question: What do I want to feel when I look back on my career at 80 years old?
Here’s what I’ve realized:
- I want to be exceptionally skilled at a practical craft (like design).
- I want to work in environments where design is truly respected and upheld.
- I want to be surrounded by brilliant, talented people who challenge me to grow.
- And I want to work on things that matter—projects with purpose.
Final Thoughts
Fatherhood didn’t make me less ambitious. It made me more human. It clarified what really matters. And it reminded me that we’re all more than our LinkedIn bios.
So to any other parent-designers out there: your ambition is still valid. But don’t be afraid if it starts to look different. Let it evolve. It might just lead you to something even better.
